I'm Over It

This will come as a total shock to those who know me well, but, um, I HATE WINTER. Hate it. H-to the-A-to the-T-to the-E it. I have no patience for those who say, "But it's so pretty to look at!" or "We love to ski!" or any of that nonsense. Winter is ugly and it is evil and it is designed to make things that are already unpleasant (like going to work) even worse. Winter is a tool of the devil. Don't let that whole, "Hell is hot" school of thought sway you...

So, it is in creepy-gross times such as these that I like to compile a little list that I like to call, "Places I'd Rather Be". Some are places I've actually been to before, most are places I only dream of going to (and so can be idealized as the perfect place to reside - who needs reality spoiling things?). I've decided, lucky and dear readers, to share my list with you so that you may more fully understand how my head and heart work and so that when you win the lottery, you will know exactly where to send me on a lavish getaway as a reward for my unwavering friendship and girlish charm. And away we go....

1. Santorini, Greece - Every year I buy a calendar for Santorini and I try my best to insert myself into it's photos of sunbleached steps past magenta bouganvillas. This is one of those places that's so beautiful it almost looks like a movie set or something. This is where I would consider having an illicit affair with some swarthy Greek young man I never saw again... Whoops, sorry, drifted away there for a moment. Anyway, I'm sure that if I was there and not here I would certainly tan instead of burn, my hair would not frizz due to humidity and where I would suddenly have the ability to swim and look cute as hell in a swimsuit while I was at it. How can a place that looks like that not be magic??

2. Prince Edward Island, Canada - Book nerds like myself will recognize this as the home of Anne of Green Gables. Once one has watched the PBS version of these books, oh, let's just guess and say 15,874 times, you can imagine how wonderful your life would be if you could just go and run the cliffs with your BFF, travel down White Way Delight with your own Gilbert Blythe and just generally breathe what looks to be some exceedingly wholesome air. If you send me there, I'll even let you call me "Carrots".

3. Rome. Do I really need to say anything else?

4. Provence, France and....

5. .....while I'm in the neighborhood, PARIS! -

My boss gets to go to Paris at least once a year for work. This kills me. Surely assistants need to

help out their bosses while they're traveling, yes? One of the places I want to go to so badly I can taste it (and I'm betting it tastes a lot like those pretty little macaroon cookies....).

This, of course, is just the tip of a list that is really about 500 places long and doesn't include places that I'm dying to go to but am too scared, like Egypt! Anyway, what a delightful time wasting respite this was from the dread and drear outside my window, looking out into the grey void that is Columbus. I was going to say "Calgon, Take me away!" but I'd rather have Clooney do it....