Updates

Well, I decided to use today's space to do a bit of an update on my folks. People are so kind to check in about them and their well-being, so I thought this might be a good way to do it every once in a while.

Right before Christmas we were told that Mom probably had 4-6 weeks left. She had a staph infection that had gone septic and the iv antibiotics they gave her to heal the staph infection were shutting her kidneys down. Then over the last few weeks we started getting better reports on her bloodwork, her kidney function, etc. I asked for a new assessment and prognosis of her and it would seem that somehow, as of this moment, she seems to be free of the staph infection and her kidneys are functioning at near normal. They say that she's currently out of the woods. Of course, this is a mixed blessing - I love my mom and I don't ever want to lose her. But, the dieseases of Alzheimer's and Dementia are so cruel, I don't want to see her have to live like she's been living, in pain and anxious and frightened, for years and years. I finally decided that I just had to let God handle it, be grateful for the time I have with her and do the best I can to reconcile myself to what may be coming. The positive side is that they have been changing and tweaking her medicine again and she seems much calmer and more relaxed. I have been told that during the day she is talking to the people who work there, smiling, affectionate and cooperative, things I never thought she could be. By the time we get there in the evenings, she's so tired and her meds have caught up with her, so she doesn't have much to say and she does a lot of sleeping. She doesn't know me anymore, which in some ways is hard, but she seems to be bonding to the people who are there caring for her every day and I have been told that she has been loving to them, which makes me feel great. I want her to feel a connection with someone, to feel safe with them and to have people around her that she feels affection for.

My dad is having some health issues of his own and I spent Saturday in the ER with him. They couldn't find anything but did say that his symptoms did show that something was going on, so he's back to his regular doctor (who I cannot stand) today. We'll see what they tell us and how they direct him to proceed. If you can keep him in your prayers as well, I'd certainly appreciate it.

It's so incredibly hard to watch as your parents age and become frail. Growing up, our parents are Superman and Wonder Woman - there's nothing they can't do. It's so strange to get to the point when you realize that they're just human beings, just like you. I have no patience for people who won't help their parents (and at the nursing home, I see plenty of them). My parents gave me everything they had in an emotional, financial, physical, spiritual sense every day of my life and would continue to do so if they would be allowed to. No, we didn't always get along and there are issues I regret never discussing with my mother while I had the chance (hear me now - if you have unresolved issues with your parents, get them out in the open while everyone is well and still here and you're not in crisis mode. This opportunity will never present itself again). But even while I thought that she didn't always understand me and didn't always like me, I ALWAYS knew that she loved me and I know that she loves me still, even though my face is not one she recognizes as her daughter anymore. I am exhausted after the past two years but it's worth it not to have an ounce of regret whenI lay my head on my pillow at night when it comes to my parents. Get your ducks in a row while you can, friends.